I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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