at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
