she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
