just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
