The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
