There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
