Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
