I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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