I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
