sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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