I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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