On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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