I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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