when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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