around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
