and she was petting her beer can
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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