ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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