they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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