I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
