do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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