we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
