I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
