I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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