Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
