Already got asked if we're dating
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
