if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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