somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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