well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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