everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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