Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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