No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
