I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
