my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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