Soap is not a condiment
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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