Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
