Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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