I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
