So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
