i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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