i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize