why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
