found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
