why didn't you poke me back
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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