White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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