The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
