doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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