Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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