She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
