Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
