you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
