I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize