I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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