STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
