The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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