I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
