she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
