So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
