ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you would pick up someone in the library
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize