i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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